*** Order your T-shirt now! ***

I know a lot of people are trying to candy-coat the election – chin up, move on, put our best foot forward, teach love by giving love, reach across the aisle – and that’s where I falter. Let’s not forget that the Grand Ol’ Party stone-walled President Obama on every single thing he tried to do whether they agreed with it or not. When he reached out, it taught them nothing. “Grand Ol’ Party” is the nickname of the Republican Party for those who didn’t know what GOP stood for – I confess, I did not, but now that I know, I guess I can loosen up and have a good time….

Right. No. No, I can’t. I tried for two days. I thought about how my life would be better now that the Grand Ol’ Party had swept the nation on Tuesday and how I might capitalize on it – ’cause God knows I’m not going to be spiritually uplifted, even by a party that claims to be Jesus loving. As I sat in the woods with my chainsaw trying to find a reason to get up and get working, I suddenly didn’t feel like embracing the candy-coated attitude about this election because I was struck with this thought:

Our new President-elect is a racist, a sexist, and blatant liar. He’s not even a good liar. He will lie knowing he’ll be found out, but he doesn’t care. There is evidence that he is such a pathological liar that he may not even be aware that he is lying. The lie has become his new truth. That’s pretty fucking scary to anyone who can add two and two.

I’ve always thought of America as a country built on principals and occasionally good sense, but I’m feeling a “bigly” vacuum of both. This election taught me that both education and parenting in this nation are substandard (that means “sucks” for those of you who are confused). Only ignorance of the principals of democracy and a complete lack of manners could account for our president-elect’s rise to power. Yes, I know, the forgotten middle class; we can’t eat dignity, right? But…

When someone degrades your women and lies to your face, then tries to sell you magic beans to fix all your life’s ills, do you trust him? You do? God, you’re stupid! I have never been more ashamed of being an American. Worse, I’ve never been more ashamed of being a white male who’s American. Yuck! My kids have to grow up in this shit! [please excuse my lack of manners there]

As I said to my daughter, “It’s okay, Trump didn’t win the popular vote, so less than half of Americans are insane.” I can breathe easy knowing that.

So, I’ve decided to do two things:

1. I’m going to speak up. I’m not going to be all peace and love with these people until they give me a good reason. If they are going to continue to support policies that poison our drinking water, block policies that could mitigate climate change, grow our prison economy for people of color, submit our women’s bodies to federal control, and continue to centralize the money to the very top percent, then I am going to consider their grand fucking party an act of war against my person and my tribe. It may not sound it, but my tribe is the one who believes in Love over Fear and Diplomacy over War, but also Intelligent Knowledgeable Awareness over Blind Insensitive Stupidity. I am not going to Love you if you Hurt me, and I will not be Apathetic if you try. That’s where I stand.

2. I am going to embrace one thing that the Grand Ol’ Boys will be proud of. I am going to monetize and capitalize on this presidency the way comedians capitalized on President Bush, starting with this T-shirt I designed (see image). Want one?

I can swallow this election, but it’s a bitter pill.